We might as well tie a “float” to the back of the Ferraris. Seriously, a big inflatable float like the one you see in the Thanksgiving parade in New York City. Because this is, make no mistake, a parade. A Ferrari parade to be more precise. And we are all just like the crowds that line the streets of New York every fall, pressing forward and eagerly watching the “action” as the parade drones by….. I figure a giant helium filled sheep ought to do the trick.

At the very least, it should hold some symbolism for all those who call themselves Ferrari “fans” or “Tifosi”. Here’s the bottom line: Ferrari can win any Grand Prix this season, from any grid position, and they can win with ease. There is no contest going on here. No competition. At the European Grand Prix, the announcer was getting all excited as Barrichello crossed the line, shouting “HE’S DONE IT, HE’S DONE IT! RUBENS HAS WON THE EUROPEAN GRAND PRIX!!” Done what? My grandmother could have won that race in that car. And with the oh-so politically correct Herr Schumacher sitting innocently behind him all the way, assuring that Bernie and the FIA had a pacifier to sooth their crankiness, Rubens engaged the cruise control, turned up the stereo and checked the grandstand for chicks.

There’s nothing quite like being there and in Montreal I was sitting in the same corner where I have sat for the last 24 years (since Gilles won it in 1978), watching yet another Canadian Grand Prix along with 117,000 other people. Make no mistake, I LOVE the spectacle, the ambiance and all the sights and sounds of a Formula One weekend. There is NOTHING like standing 10 feet away from the track when an F1 car screams by at 18,000 rpm. Absolutely spine tingling. I noticed quite a difference between last year’s race in Montreal and this years race. Yes, there were the usual Ferrari flags, posters, hats, shirts etc. But I would estimate the overall Ferrari “display” to be down by 70-80%. Nothing does more for the enthusiasm than to have your “hero” rub your nose in your own naďveté. As usual, all eyes were on Schuey. And as usual, he looked cool, calm, and disinterested all weekend, spending very little time on the track or in the garage. The Ferrari mechanics frankly looked bored.This team knows it has the best car and it knows it can win any race, anytime, anywhere.

So why was Montoya on pole? The obvious answer is: it rained with ten minutes to go in the qualifying session. The less obvious answers are: Montoya is a brave and talented driver; Williams, BMW and Michelin have, for a couple of laps at least, given him a package that is really fast (before it blows up or eats its tires); Michael Schumacher, already acknowledged as the “greatest driver of all time” and with virtually a lock on this year’s championship, doesn’t really have to stick his neck out. As I said before, he knows, with a good deal of certainty, that he can win any race, anytime. The car is that good.

So as I plunked my derriere into my seat for Sundays race, the only real excitement was trying to figure out which team would opt for a one-stop strategy and which team would opt for a two-stop strategy. We didn’t have long to wait! Montoya got off to a good start and led into the first corner; but the real interesting part was going on just behind him: Schumacher, obviously in a pre-arranged move, opened a little door in the first corner and let his teammate slide through into second place. Watch the replay, you’ll see it. Now, why would he do that? Simple! He was running a one-stop strategy and Rubens was running a two stopper. So the plan is to let Rubens act as the “hare” and hassle Montoya for a while. In actual fact, Rubens drove right by Juan Pablo like he wasn’t even there and took off into an ever increasing lead. All this would be unimportant except for one thing: Montoya was also on a two-stop strategy!

What looked like it might be an interesting race (emphasis on “race”) quickly became a giant bore. Montoya, with several hundred pounds LESS fuel on board than Schumacher, was not able to pull out any sort of lead on the third place Ferrari AND Barrichello was able to pull away from him easily. End of race. Yuk! Here’s what really makes my blood boil: the Ferrari team had absolutely no intention of allowing Barrichello to win this race. His only role in this whole fiasco was to maximize the chances of Michael Schumacher winning. And win he did, with ease. He did his usual act of slowing down at the end to make it “look” closer than it was. I left with ten laps to go and was sitting in my living room when the champagne flew.

The European Grand Prix was more of the same thing, except for a pre-arranged finish which saw Rubens take the checkered flag, “fair and square(!)”, with Michael second. Those of you who are more observant may have noticed that the starting grid featured an all-Williams front row. Didn’t really matter though, as both Michael and Rubens disposed of them in short order and drove on the eventually lead the race by over one minute (!) from poor Kimi Raikonnen. B-O-R-I-N-G.

And where were Jaguar in all of this? Absolutely nowhere, that’s where. The cruel joke continues. The only spot of good news is that the R3 is dead and buried, to be replaced at the next race by the “R3B”. Don’t hold your breath though……

 

Posted: 5/25/2002

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